Inner Beauty
Mar 17th, 2008 by Inday
Patulog na sana si Inday pagkatapos niyang manood ng Oprah. Pero dahil medyo hindi pa siya inaantok, nagpasya siyang ilipat ang channel at nagkataong Bb. Pilipinas 2008 pala ang palabas sa GMA. At tiyempong Q and A pa ang naabutan niya kaya medyo nagising ang ulirat niya nang nagtanong na ang isang judge tungkol sa kahalagahan ng pamilya sa pagsali ng isang kandidata sa naturang beauty pageant.
Bago pa man sumagot ang kandidata, sinabi ni Inday sa sarili, “Lucky for her, that is a very plain and straightforward question!”.
Ngunit napanganga si Inday nang marinig nya ang kasagutan ng binibini,
“Well, my family’s role for me is so important because there was the, they’re they was the one whose very, ha-ha; oh I’m so sorry. Ah my family, my family, oh my God, I’m, okay. I’m so sorry; I, I told you that I’m so confident; ah wait, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, uhm, sorry guys because this was really my first pageant ever. Because I’m only 17 years old and I did not expect that I came from, I came from the one of the to(f)p 10; uhm, so, but I said that my family is the most important persons in my life. Thank you.”
Pagkarinig ng mga pahayag ng Binibini, nasabi nya na lang sa sarili…
“What a loss! She has the potential of a would-be beauty queen. However, by the way she responded to the query, her height definitely did not compensate with her ability to communicate fluently in English. She should have instead, consistently converged in Filipino throughout her answer. Worst, she still managed to qualify that her age had something to do with her difficulty.”
Sabay lipat ng channel..
Ngunit dahil na rin sa hindi pa siya dinalaw ng antok, at dala na rin ng kuryosidad kung sinu-sino ang mga tatanghaling kandidata na magrerepresenta sa Pilipinas sa mga internasyonal na paligsahan ng ganda, talino at talento, nagawa pa niyang panuorin ang koronasyon.
Laking gulat niya sa announcement ng mga nanalo ay nasama sa tatlong pinakamasayang Filipina sa gabing iyon ang kandidatang pinagsabihan niyang “What a loss!”.
Ngunit may parang bagong realisasyon sa sarili si Inday,
“Well, maybe (took a deep audible breath and a bit affected) they saw in her inner beauty, which is not gauged by mere sugarcoating of words or grammatically-correct construction of sentences, but more of being real and true to oneself and admitting that she has flaws and is ergo, imperfect. That may have made her win the crown, if all things were equal that is. However, to further develop her communication skills especially that she will represent our country in the future international pageant, she must at least continuously correspond to people like me, who’s adept in English fluency and are connoisseurs of beauty pageants e.g. past beauty queens themselves.”
Meet Arajaya
Feb 20th, 2008 by Inday
Arajaya was sipping her cup of brewed coffee served with hot pandesal by Coffeebean – so Filipino – so indigent – when a group of infamous people started to occupy the nearby infamous café a.k.a Starbucks. They were so noisy that Arajaya’s blood boiled – temperature almost reaching 412 kelvin.
But since Arajaya is a woman of sophistication, she decided to just ignore the crowd and let them live the way they wanted.
Suddenly, she felt a strong chill. She felt a very odd sensation from her nape to her head – the FEELING of being watched. But then again, Arajaya never gave a damn.
When she was about to eat her hot pandesal, she started to hear a familiar voice from her back.
“What a very small world” said the woman in a maid’s uniform.
Arajaya turned around and was surprised by what she saw.
“Well if my hippocampus serves me right, you are Arajaya, my former friend who turned her back from me. Aren’t you?”
“Wow! What a very well rehearsed introduction. Inday – my former friend who framed me up to escape a crime she’d done. Who would forget that sweet demonic voice – your pitch and intonation as well as your liaising?
“Basing from the gesture of your not so well-developed bone structure predominantly – your skull – that gave you a very elongated face and the kind of food that you have right now, you are about to nosh your stomach with an impecunious meal they called ‘Kape’t pandesal’, uh – was that right?” said Inday as if ridiculing her.
“Yes. Would you like a bite?” replied Arajaya.
“Thanks but no thanks. But would you mind if you join me at Starbucks instead of taking your breakfast in this approximately forsaken café with a very ghastly ambience?” said Inday. “I also want you to try my favorite Venti Java Chip Frappuccino along with cold sandwich and some Choux pastries. Don’t worry, my treat!”
Inday offered Arajaya to join her at Starbucks instead of Coffeebean…
Arajaya stared at Inday, sneered at her then opened her MacBook Pro.
“Thank you for the offer but I prefer Coffeebean to Starbucks. I just think that Starbucks is a den of social climbers and bourgeoisies like you.”
“Oh, dear! Don’t you think you’re getting rude, I just want you to experience life. Okay, I’ll – ” Inday was interrupted when she saw Arajaya busy working with her MacBook.
“And what are you trying to do Arajaya?” asked Inday impolitely.
“Hmm… nothing so important. You wouldn’t understand it even if I tell you.”
“Are you trying to undervalue my comprehension by implying that I will not understand the philosophy that you are doing with your MacBook? C’mon, don’t be so supercilious friend!”
“Okay, I am configuring its IEEE 802.15 to perpetuate the distribution of electromagnetic waves from the medium access control and the physical layer to the transport layer. Later, I will also track the process from the session layers in with the packets are sent and processed for the presentation layer to convert the signals into binary form. Example, if I tried to send “Inday go to hell” message, it will me converted to its hexadecimal value which is 496E49617900676F0068656C6C which will later be converted to its binary value of 010010010111 1110010010010 110000101111001 00000000011001110 110111100000 000011010000110011 10110110001100110. Then, the application layer will check the binary value for error detection using parity bit (even). If there are errors, it will fix the message then sends it to the ALU for processing which will be passed to the CU for data transfer. Satisfied?”
Inday remained silent for awhile then ran back to Starbucks when she heard “1 Venti Java Chip Frappuccino for Inday!” to get her order.
“Starbucks bullshit!” said Arajaya to herself.
After eating, she decided to go back to her work and accidentally passed by in front of Starbucks when she heard Inday…
“I was so careless. I thought that the wit I have in me which I found flamboyant in using any language I know of would simply astound them. I was just mortified that it took me a little pinch of effort not to step beyond the waterline, to just impart to the people I formerly know of that I have grown into a better personage – not just a chambermaid whom others look down to. I was so disgraced by the thing I heard awhile ago and my heart beat faster than normal that I suffered from the incapability of speaking. Good thing that barista called my name. I just wish that someday, I would be able to face my worst nightmare that is yet to come – yet to come that will consume me and bury me to death. I just wish that day isn’t coming yet.”
- Inday nag-emote matapos matabla ni Arajaya sa Coffeebean.
Wowowee Part 1
Feb 10th, 2008 by Inday
Naging contestants sina Inday at Ederlyn sa Wowowee.
Willie: Kapamilya, ang ating mga kalahok ngayon ay mga maid or mga yaya… mga kasambahay minsan kung tawagin. Sila ang dahilan kung baket nananatiling malinis ang bahay natin, may pagkain sa hapagkainan kung pagod tayo para magluto. Sila ang naghuhugas ng pinggan, naglalaba at nag-aalaga sa mga anak natin. Aminin na naten, mahihirapan din tayo pag wala sila.
Willie: Sige tawagin na naten ang mga unang maglalaro.
Umentra sina Inday at Ederlyn at pumwesto sa magkabilang panig ni Willie.
Kinausap muna ni Willie si Ederlyn. Excited sobra si Ederlyn, sigaw ng sigaw ng “Papiii”!!
Willie: Hello kamusta ka? Anong name mo?
Ederlyn: Ederlyn po papi!! I’m fine thanks!!! (excited talaga)
Willie: Ederlyn, taga-saang probinsya ka?
Ederlyn: I’m from here lang in Metro Manila papi!!! You’re hansam pala in personal!
Willie: Wow, thank you ha. Ilang taon ka na Ederlyn?
Ederlyn: 20 po papi!!
Willie: Ahh, kamusta mga magulang mo, nasan sila?
Ederlyn: Di ko po alam papi!! In their house lang yun siguro. I am staying with my amo.
Willie: Ahhh so sino yung nagbabantay ng bahay ngayon? Alam ba ng amo mo na nandito ka sa Wowowee?
Ederlyn: Yung amo ko po nag-stay sa house. Pinayagan nya naman ako at she also gave me bus fare to go here so I could join.
Willie: Wow, ang bait naman. Meron ka bang message para sa amo mo?
Ederlyn: Ma’am thank you po for giving me pamasahe to go here, don’t worry I will pay you. The trash at the back I will throw later, I am not finish sweeping the floor in your room. The fruit salad in the ref is already panis, don’t eat it. Pa-throw na lang po in the trash can.
Willie: Aba! Astig ka rin ah, inutusan mo pa amo mo. Sa magulang mo baka may message ka.
Ederlyn: Ahmm… Nay, Tay! How are you guys? I’m doing fine here at Wowowee. I know you are watching me. Thank you for your patronage. That’s all papi!
Willie: Nyak! O sige anong talent mo?
Ederlyn: I will sing po papi! Nothing’s gonna change my love for you!
Willie: O sige, Ladies and Gentlemen… Miss Ederlyn.
Kinuha ni Ederlyn ang mikropono at pumunta na sa gitna at nagsimulang kumanta.
Ederlyn: If I had to live my life without you near me…. The days would all be empty…
Umabot na sa chorus…
Ederlyn: Nothing’s gonna change my love for you, you know naman my love how much I love you. One thing you can be sure of, I’ll never ask for more than your love…
At natapos na rin si Ederlyn. Naghiyawan at nagtawanan ang mga tao. Pati si Willie di makatigil sa kakatawa.
Willie: Ayos ka rin Ederlyn! Lalabas siguro ito sa youtube. Anyway, eto ang five thousand pesos mo pati ang gift bag from Liveraide!!
Ederlyn: (tuwang tuwa) Thank you po Kuya Willie!!
Willie: O sige dito naman tayo sa next contestant naten.
Humarap si Willie kay Inday na mukhang nabobored.
Willie: Hi miss, anong name mo?
Inday: Hi Mr. Revillame, my name is Inday.
Willie: Aba isa pang inglesera. Ok mga katulong naten ngayon ah, nakakaaliw sila.
Willie: So Inday, how are you today?
Inday: I just answered that question earlier. If you have nothing else left to ask, can we just continue?
Willie: Ahhmm, it’s ok. I still have some questions for you. Ahh, what province are you from?
Inday: I’m from the City of Majestic Waterfalls, Iligan.
Willie: Ahhh, that’s very nice. Is your parents there? Why don’t you greet them?
Inday: Yes, they’re there but my mom does not watch Wowowee. She usually watch The Tyra Banks Show at this time of the day. My dad seldom watches TV.
Willie: Oh I see, why doesn’t she watch Wowowee, am I not handsome or funny for her?
Inday: Let’s just say that it might have something to do with substance, plus Tyra is more pleasing to the eye than you.
Napahiya si Willie.
Willie: Ohh ok. Well greet her anyways, maybe she change the channel during commercial.
Pumayag na rin si Inday na batiin ang kanyang nanay.
Inday: Hi Mom, if you’re really watching this…
Sumingit saglit si Willie.
Willie: Inday, why don’t you greet her in your dialect?
Inday: (Tinignan ng masama si Willie) Why don’t you keep quiet for a sec and let me greet her in my own way?
Napahiya ulit si Willie…
Willie: Ok sorry, please continue.
Inday: Hi mom, please check your Paypal account to see if the money I sent you has arrived. Did you like the Marc Jacobs handbag I sent you last Christmas? Please tell Iying to catch me online so I can walk her through jailbreaking her iPod Touch. Hi to Dad, Itoy and Ikling. Love you all!
Natameme si Willie sa pagkasosyal ni Inday at ng kanyang pamilya.
Willie: Woww… How sweet naman. Can I ask you what year uhh… I mean anong year ang natapos mo sa schooling mo? Because you’re good in English, maybe you reached 4th year high school?
Inday: So what are you implying? That maids are dumb and cannot speak perfect English nor have good education? If I told you my academic achievements you might run outside and fling yourself into a speeding truck. Let’s just say that I was blessed with proper education with the help of a few scholarship grants and was able to finish college and a couple of master’s degree.
Dumugo na ang ilong ni Willie at nagpakuha muna ng tissue at tubig bago nagpatuloy.
Willie: Ahmm ok… uhh.. tama na siguro yung mga tanong. Pero bago ang lahat nais ko lang batiin ang isang special guest na dumalo ngayon dito sa studio… the lovely Kris Aquino.
Na-focus ang camera kay Kris na nakatayo sa gilid.
Kris: Hi Willie, o anoh? Diba winarn na kita tungkol dyan kay Inday kanina bago ka lumabas. Anoh, naniwala ka na?
Willie: Di ko naman kasi alam parang jinojoke mo lang ako kanina eh.
Kris: Well… gusto ko lang makita talent ni Inday kaya ako bumisita. Baka talent nya ay wawalisin itong set in under 1 minute. Ahihihi.
Willie: ‘Kaw talaga Kris iba ka kung manlait.
Talent portion na ni Inday.
Willie: Ok Inday, anong talent ang gagawin mo ngayon?
Inday: I suppose I could sing one of my favorites, Time to Say Goodbye.
Willie: Sige, Ladies and Gentleman… Ms. Inday.
Pumwesto na si Inday sa harap ng entablado. Pinatahimik niya ang audience… nakatingin lang sa kanya si Kris. Sinenyasan nya ang DJ na patugtugin ang kanyang CD dahil di kakayanin ng banda patugtugin ang kakantahin nya.
Nagsimula na si Inday kumanta…
Inday: Quando sono sola Sogno all’orrizonte E mancan le parole… Si lo so che non c’e’ luce In una stanza quando manca il sole Si non ci sei tu con me, con me…
Umabot na sa chorus at bumanat pa lalo si Inday…
Inday: Time to… say goodbye… Paesi che no ho mai Veduto e vissuto con te… Adesso si li vivro’ con te partiro’…
Nagtayuan ang karamihan sa audience, mga matatanda, foreigners, OFWs, balikbayan. Pinalakpakan si Inday… napaluha din ang iba. Pati si Kris at Willie namangha at nanood na lang sa rendition ni Inday ng kanta ni Andrea Bocelli.
Pinatapos ni Willie ang buong kanta, di akalaing kaya ng isang katulong ang kumanta ng opera.
Pagkatapos ni Inday, binigyan siya ng standing ovation ng audience, pati mga promo girls tumigil sa pagkekembot para palakpakan siya. Umalis na si Kris sa studio ng luhaan, apektado sa kanta ni Inday.
Willie: Wow!! That’s unbelievable! Ang galing ha, ang lakas pala ng boses mo. Dahil sa ginawa mong yan, ito ang 50,000 pesos para sayo at lahat ng nakadisplay dito sa likod ko, pwede mo nang iuwi. Meron dyang Magic Sing, My Marvel Taheebo at kung anu-ano pa.
Sumingit si Ederlyn.
Ederlyn: Papi ba’t saken 5,000 pesos lang? Unfair naman yun.
Willie: Gusto mo bawiin ko? Mali mali nga lyrics mo dyan. Galingan mo na lang sa laban niyo ni Inday.
Ederlyn: (natahimik na lang) Sige po papi.
Willie: Ok alam niyo na ang gagawin? Kelangan niyong mahulaan ang title ng kantang papatugtugin at kakantahin niyo pagkatapos ok? Pag di niyo naikanta ng maayos, 1 point lang. Pag-maka 2 points kayo, pasok na kayo sa next round.
Willie: Ok ready? Paunahan ito… pwesto!
Tumugtog na ang Perfect ng True Faith, umabot na sa chorus bago nahulaan ni Ederlyn ang kanta.
Edelryn: Ferfect papi!! Ferfect!!!!
Natawa na lang si Willie.
Willie: O sige pwede na rin… Perfect… Sing it!!
Ederlyn: Baby as I look into your eyes… New York ferfect… Judging from the way you meet my eye… New York Ferfect…. Ferfect….
Sumasakit ang tyan ni Willie sa kakatawa kaya’t pinatigil nya na si Ederlyn.
Willie: Hoi, san niyo ba nakuha ito? (tawa ng tawa habang kausap ang direktor)
Willie: Sorry Ederlyn pero mali na naman ang lyrics mo. Di bale bawi ka na lang sa susunod… Inday, pwede ka pang humabol. Sige pwesto!!
Tumugtog na ang Smack That ni Akon… naunahan na naman ni Ederlyn si Inday na may kausap sa kanyang cellphone.
Ederlyn: Papi Ismak Dat!! (Kinanta pa ng gaga… Ismak Dat Olonggapo… Ismak Dat Fernando Poe)
Natawa na naman si Willie.
Willie: Pambihira ka talaga. Di mo na kelangan kantahin pero tama ang sagot mo kaya’t pasok ka na!!
Tuwang tuwa si Ederlyn at di humihinto sa kakapalakpak at kakatalon.
Willie: I’m sorry Inday pero…
Natameme si Willie paglingon nya kay Inday at may kausap sa phone. Sinenyasan siya ni Inday na saglit lang.
Natapos na rin si Inday sa phone.
Inday: I’m sorry Mr. Revillame but I just got a call from the other station and they’re sending someone over to pick me up. They want to talk about guesting me and letting me sing me on their show this Sunday. I’ll just take the cash and leave the other stuff here for the other contestants. Thanks and Ciao!
Laglag-panga si Willie at pinanood na lang ang pag-alis ni Inday.
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