Fool's Reach: A Tragedy from the Beginning

Staring at the ceiling, cold dark night, I lay on my back. Feeling my heart squeezing tighter each passing minute. I can’t recall how long I’ve been lying motionless. The deafening silence doesn’t help, as I grasp for any kind comfort that I can find. No tears are falling and yet I feel like my eyes are heavy with the burden of sadness. I wish they would just fall, the tears.

My world have once again been shattered into pieces. Relentless pain pierce through my aching heart as my world crumbles like mountain turning to stones. The beauty of creation is now turning into a domino of destruction. How did I end up in this tragedy? How could I be so careless and let these things happen?

I raise my hand and stare at my palm. A sculptor uses he’s hand to create his masterpiece. Is this hand responsible for getting me into this mess? Perhaps I’m just looking for someone, or something to blame. The truth is, I only have myself to blame.

We are but fools, trying to justify our foolishness. From the start, I knew nothing good can come from this affection I have found. I have my limits and I have my restrictions, but I also have my weakness. Despite all signs pointing east, I still, like chasing a fool’s gold, faced west and took a step towards my own self destruction.

And now I’m at the last step I took west. Roads stopped, trails end in a deep ravine. And worst, roads going back have vanished into the darkness. Standing with nowhere to go, I watch as the world around me crumbles. Perhaps this is what is meant to be foolish. Perhaps I can only stay here and watch as people around me go their way, into the path they happily walk. And I am here, alone, breaking into pieces. Vanishing into oblivion.

The funny thing is, this is not the first time I’ve been on this road. Stranded in an island of darkness. How did I escape that time? How did I manage to come out as a whole, or have I ever been whole? I could not remember, I could not know how to live from here…

Yeah I remember, I have always been stuck in this piece of land I’m standing on. Perhaps it is not me that walked here, but it is the world that moves while I just stand here. People pass me by as I just stand here. I can no longer recall how long I’ve been here, or how many people have passed me by. I can only recall the pain that people have left behind. And every moment, it hurts like hell, as it hurts now.

If I survived this before, perhaps I can now. But how can I move away from this darkness? How can I move along with the world? I close my eyes, lower my hands into my face. And tears started to fall.

Mt. Pinatubo: Trek for All Ages

Friday night as I was heading back home, I felt droplets of rain on my head. 'Twas a sign that summer is soon on its way out of the door and welcome a rainy month of June. It would have been a good sign if we were at the last stretch of may, but it was only the 2nd week. I looked up at the sky and whispered to the heavenly bodies, "Let no rain fall tomorrow, for we shall climb Mt. Pinatubo"...

The clock greeted me with hands pointing to past 1am when I arrived home. I quickly changed clothes and took a quick nap. How I wish to visit Dreamland today but the time wouldn't let me. More than an hour after my nap, I was already packing my things as I head out to start this adventurous day.

We assembled ourselves, all 10 of us, around 3:30am on McDonalds at Quezon Ave. This was an adventure that we planned for nearly a month. We were itching for an outdoor activity to deviate from our busy life from our office, and this trip is the perfect fit. Aside from Ma'am Almirah's Husband and friend, all 7 of us are from the same office. Spending 8 hours or more of our life inside a corporate world where our only axis to the outside world is a single monitor. You can see how we look forward to this trip.

Contrary to the Filipino custom, I am quite surprised that most of us arrived before time. We only needed to wait for one girl before we could start our trip. It wasn't a long wait, and around 3:45am, we were off to Pinatubo.

As I was deprived of my sleep, what happened between McDonalds and Capas, Tarlac was unknown to me. I spent 3hours of our road trip sleeping. Apparently, most of us were. You can't blame us, we needed our full strength for this long trek.

To the top we go! Assembly at Spa Town.

The sun was already shining when we arrive at the Spa Town in Capas, Tarlac. We thought we were too early but when we got to the assembly point, it seems like we were late. There were already some who are starting their 4x4 ride towards Mt. Pinatubo. Not to be outdone by others, we stretched our arms, get out
of our rented F150 Ford Van, and feel the great ambiance of the country side. Our driver took care of our registration for the trek in the local tourism office and waited for our own 4x4 ride.


One 4x4 old jeep can only accomodate 5 person, plus the driver and our tourist guide. So we had to split up into two groups. I joined the first jeep along with Francis, Maam Almirah, Mr. Arman and Mr. Sulit. I wanted to ride at the hood of the jeep, but they won't allow me for my own safety. We were told to expect a bumpy ride along rocky roads and crossing streams.

The Lahar Plain

The first 10 minutes of the 4x4 ride was quite smooth and not that exciting. We enjoyed the scenery instead as we were greeted by mountains and hills and lahar formations illuminated by the rising sun. It was a relaxing ride as we take into ourselves the beauty of being away from the corners of the office. As we go deep into the terrain, we started passing thru rocks and small streams and the ride starts to get bumpy. We were enjoying the ride so much that we didn't notice that our other group was no longer behind us. Jay, our driver seems to be enjoying the ride as well as he try to maneuver along the rocky roads with maximum possible speed.

As the ride continues to get bumpy, we arrive at our first pitstop. We disembarked in our jeep to take pictures on what the local call the Toblerone Hills.

It's catchy name is inspired by the Chocolate Hills in Bohol. As I look at the hills, I can see why they name it as such, It's a line of hills shaped as triangles side by side, like toblerones. We took turns on taking pictures and waited for the others so we can have our first decent group pictures in our trip.

After the clicks and the snaps, we finally decided to continue the ride. I, again, attempted to ride on the hood but was turned down as the ride will only get worse. And Jay was right. The road were even more rocky than before. You can no longer see clear paths and had to cross streams and climb thru steep paths.  I would have fallen if I was on the hood. We were filled with awe as we are amazed by how this old 4x4 jeep can endure the treacherous road.

It was no ordinary path we took, but the experience is one to add in my memory. We were told that before, you can take the skyway, up in the hills, and avoid this path to went directly at the foot of the crater of Pinatubo, but now, those path is gone. But I guess that was for the better (or worse), I wouldn't have experience this kind of ride if we took the easy way.

I could no longer tell how long we rode the jeep, but the end site of the ride as near as we can see in the horizon the flock of other jeeps park in the other side of the field. It was the mark of the starting point. This is where we say goodbye to our ride and rely on our feet to bring us to the top of the mountain, the land of promise. :p



I quickly jumped of the jeep when we arrived to have a feel of the lahar. It wasn't my first time to step on but it was still an exciting feeling. I was wearing a new Tribu Sandal, one with straps all over my feet. It took a long time before I decided to sport this sandal instead of my rubber shoes, and I think I made the right choice. It was very important that we dressed to the occassion as the wrong dress could make this trek a lot more stressful than it needs to be. I wore a Dri-Fit Umbro Shirt and a short Cargo pants along with my sandal to give a comfort feel. And of course, I sheilded my skin with a SPF 30 Sunblock, courtesy of JP, along with a Hat, shades and a piece of cloth to protect me from the sun. You can call me overprotective, but in this kind of terrain, the heat of the sun can be your worst enemy, and I know how to fight my enemies. :)


All preparation done, we waited for the other five before we started our 2hour trek. Their jeep has to be the slowest, it took them another 10 minutes before they arrive. Cobi, JP, Jaja, wally and Chelle was nevertheless excited, and a slow jeep didn't stop them from joining us in our trek.

Time to leave the jeep behind... 

Filled with anticipation and excitement, we started our ascent towards the crater of Pinatubo. It was not that difficult as there were no steep path. It was almost straight path with occasional streams and rivers. There were rocks everywhere, big or small. We were enjoying the long walk as the views were majestic. We took pictures of every mountains that display wide range of shapes, rivers that cross our paths, and colorful stones. We never failed to get photos taken along with this great landscape. That's thanks to Jaja and Wally for their SLR Cameras.

30 minutes into the trek and the heat of the sun starts to get hot. It was a good thing we have Cobi with us, we could use a good laugh from time to time. We needed his stories to occupy our mind as not to think how tired we already are. We weren't yet halfway but we could already feel our sweat starting to drop from our head. It was a first testament of how hot the weather was that time.





But no sun can make as back down. We continued our trek, finding shades of shadows along the path if there is one. But we were told not to get too close because landslides are common in this area. It have come to our attention that mountains sorrounding the area are made of lahar and are not very strong. We can only imagine how this place came to be. A part of explosion that was known to be one of the worst volcanic erruption of the 19th century.


Cobi's stories soon faded away. We were starting to get weary as the long path never seems to end. We can only take comfort on the thought of the great view we will soon see. The occassional pictures also takes away the tiredness and gave us jolt of energy. The trek seems to go on and on and on... until we started seeing some greenery. Our guide says it's a sign that we are near the crater of Pinatubo.

After nearly two hours of walking under the sun, we finally saw a waiting shed. A group of tourist was resting in the shed. We were told this is were we start our ascend to the crater. When the skyway was still passable, this is where our ride was suppose to drop us off. Some would have chose that, but I would still like that 2 hour trek that we had. It was not a pleasant one, but something worth remembering.

We rested for 5 minutes on the shed and tried to assess our selves. We were almost depleted of our energy but we can still go on. Some of us had few cuts, especially on the area where sandal straps are in contact with the skin. Due to the river, sands and stones can pass thru the openings and can go between the straps and the skin. This can be irritating and can cause cuts as I soon discovered I have too when I got home.

Before climbing, we were greeted by reminder that it should only took 15minutes to climb the crater if we consider ourselves young, 20 minutes if we were already senior citizen. This burnt our spirit and tried to beat the clock. But it wasn't that easy as there were other people in front of us and the path is not wide enough to accomodate overpassing. We soon gave up on the 15 minute mark and decided we were older than the senior citizens. :p

We walked thru a terrain sorrounded by greenery. Most of the paths are rocky and there were some nearly dry river that we need to cross. It wwas not that difficult to climb thru the path, but it never pays to be careful. After sometime, we finally see some man made steps, signs that we are finally near the end of our journey. Sign that we can finally get the reward of our tiring journey.

At the top of the steps, we were mesmerized by the beauty of the Lake Crater of Mt. Pinatubo. I could say there's no word to explain the beauty, but that would be like closing your eyes to the promise that we sought. The lake was green in color, blue green, sorrounded by mountains or what is left of it. The
lake seems placid and still, and you can sense the serenity of the place. This is the place that we gladly spent our energy to see. If you spent so much time in the busy street of the Metro, something as magnificent as this can be your gold in the treasure box.

We took all the shots we can get to keep a memory of this beautiful scenery. And when the hype finally escapes us, we found the need to rest and refuel ourselves before we go down to the crater and have a swim at the beautiful lake.

It was not easy looking for a nice shade as there is only few waiting shed in the area. Today was a usual weekend, so the place is field with tourist like us. It's a good thing we find a place under a tree to lay our tired body. We finally gave in to our body took a break from the long journey. We packed our own food so we eat what we brought. It was rejuvenating to finally have some food. I could eat a thousand chicken legs at my state (exaggerated of course).

Refueled and Rejuvenated, rested and tired, we were tempted to just lay there and take a nap, some tourist did so. But we were so eager to see the lake closely that we decided to move on. The descend thru the lake was steep, guided by more man made steps. It wasn't that difficult but I can only imagine how hard would it be when we need to get back up. I didn't bother to count how many steps I took, but the long way down soon ends and the tiredness is equally paid by the beauty of the lake.

We were greeted by the locals at the crater and offered us a ride to the other side of the crater where they said a very nice hot springs can be found. We would have loved to go, but that would cost us another 350 pesos. The offer was tempting but the price, we thought, was unreasonable. So we settled not to go to the other side and enjoy the part of the lake where we were.

We laid our bags, took our shirt off and plunge right into the lake. What we didn't know is that the water was freaking cold. We needed time for our body to adjust to the coldness before we could enjoy the majestic lake. Too bad we can only swim near the shore as the lake suddenly gets very deep just meters away from the shore. You can no longer feel the bottom of the lake once you got far from the shore, a warning from non-swimmer out there. Not to mention, we saw one woman nearly drowned due to ignorance to the depth of the lake, good thing she was with somebody.

We spent a lot of time playing on the lake til we finally got tired and decided to finally leave the place. It was not an easy task going all the way here but what we got was worth it. It wasn't just the beauty and serenity of the crater of the lake that made it worthwhile. It was the joy of bonding along with your friends, to share the sacrifice in order to trek all the way to the top, and the stories, sensible and not, shared along the way. All this made this trip a trip worth remembering.

But oops, I almost forgot, we still have to go back to where we started. All the pain and tiredness, multiplied by 2! Hope we can survive the trek down. :)

Mt. Pinatubo! We Survive...

She, Who Owns My World

"Wait for me, I'll be there in a 10 min."

That was the last words I heard from her. It had been almost an hour and I'm still hoping her 10 min is just around the corner. I never bothered asking where she is again, from past experience, this would just irritate her and make me wait more.

But patience is taking its toll. I kept my mind busy as I sit outside a fine dine restaurant, looking at every passer-by and admiring every beauty that this glorious night has to offer.

It was Friday night, and I was at the mercy of a cold night, as Christmas was fast approaching. I could have been with my friends, hanging out somewhere and enjoying music and possibly the warmth of beer. But I chose to be here, comforted only by the warmth light above me, taking refuge to the idea that soon, after 10 min of a slow moving clock, she will be here and sit in front of me. Yes, only time will tell how foolish I could be for something I wanted so badly.

Another 10 min had passed, more sexy ladies in their fine dress had greeted me with their smiles, and the coldness continues to drop that my hands begin to shiver from time to time. I look at the street and still I see no sign of her. I can't help but be bother by the possible reason that she could have been late. It was after all a Friday night, Friday traffic could be the culprit. But still, 10 min has quite passed its due.

As the clock continues to tick, I can help but see people near my table taking a peek at me. Perhaps their wondering how long I’ve been waiting here, alone and with just a glass of cold water, alone. Perhaps their right for wondering, I myself have been puzzled by why I'm here, still waiting, and didn't bother checking on her.

Frustration and anger has started to boil inside my head. For the past 20 min, I had been constantly fighting with the urge of just leaving the place and just call her after a few hours. But just the thought of leaving her alone is enough to make me wait for another hour or so.
10 more minutes and it would have been an hour and 30 minutes of waiting. But my world started to shine as I see a glimpse of her from the end of the street. There she was, walking slowly, with a smile that has been her most beautiful asset. As she slowly comes toward me, all the time that had been wasted to wait for her had been forgotten. It's like my world had once again been filled with warmth and joy as I look at her moving towards me. All the beautiful ladies that comforted my eyes during my wait had faded into her background. The world seems to have turned into black and white and only she had remained colourful, and shining in this black night.

It had felt like eternity, eternity filled with happiness, as I watch her walk towards me. I was in so deep that I didn't notice that we are now a foot apart. She smiled, while I still remain amazed and mesmerized. Then she leans toward me, and hugs me tight. She whispered in my ears, "Nice to see you again, Son."

Tears in her eyes started to fall, as I keep mine in my eyes. It had been more than 3 years since I last saw her. And the past 3 years hadn't been well for the both of us. I hugged her back and felt how aged had caught up to her.

She was once the most beautiful girl in my eyes, and she still is. I had been a big fan of her and she had been my closest friend. That's why it was so hard being away from her for a long time for the both of us. That's why this moment had been one of the best moments of my life.
As I escorted Mom inside the promised restaurant, not the fine-dine restaurant you would have thought, just a semi-fast food chain on a side of the mall, I felt stupid and angry with myself.
That one hour and thirty minutes of waiting, I had been the cruelest son. How could I complain about waiting, when she had waited everyday at home to see me grow into a fine man I am now? How could I complain about enduring the cold, when she had endured night months of pain and more than 3 hours of labour just to give me my life? How could I complain about not being out there and have fun, when she made my happiness hers. How could I complain about waiting alone, when I know those three years of being away, she had felt it more than I do.

Looking at her again, and seeing her smile back again, I told myself, "I could even wait a lifetime if it means, having this moment with my Mom".

Going Against the Wind II...

Arriving at Batangas Peir was no walk in the park, our fate was continuously tested before we finally got there (read here...). But we never thought our persistence would be stopped by big waves and shaky ships. And so the desire to reach puerto had finally been stopped. But we can't put the effort to a waste, so we embarked on a more adventurous journey, travel across Batangas and find the perfect resort. We didn't know what's ahead, but this what made this journey worthy of writing.:)

And so with the sun setting, we had to retreat and put puerto on another day. But we are forgetting something, it was a long journey before we arrive here, shall we go home without savoring the victory we just had? The answer was simple, we can't go home empty handed. We held ourselves against a raging storm until it finally went away, we couldn't just go home just yet, we need a place to celebrate!

The problem is, Batangas isn't our neighborhood. Not to mention most of us had never been, we were complete alien in a part of our own country. So we did ask and solicit ideas from strangers. Motorcycle drivers, stranded passengers, guards, even by-standers, we asked them all. They always have same answer, it's best to stay for the night at closed room then have fun tomorrow. But no way, that's not part of the plan. Waste the night on a unknown bed? We were adventurers, we didn't travel all the way here to have a thorough examination on somebody's bed. We need to find a place to celebrate.

So we put our hope to the wonders of the modern world. A few text and a google would get us somewhere. A friend told us about Nasugbu, were resorts were common, not quite like puerto but better than nothing.

So at about almost 4pm, the sun already waving goodbye, we took two tricycles and instructed them to bring us to where we could ride a bus going to nasugbu, wherever that is. Clueless, we put our safety to the two tricycle drivers who are unrelentlessly convincing us to go to a better place near the vicinity. We would have given in, until they told us it would cost at least 1200 pesos per tricycle and with more than one hour travel on the tricycle depending on the traffic. Oh My! quite suspicious we thought. So we give them a loud NO and finally arrived at a Bus Stop near a National Road.

At the bus stop, we asked the driver, and we were very specific with our question, "Can this bus take us to Nasugbu?", not to mention the signboard says so. And the driver gave a convincing nod and a smile. So our hearts were at peace when we took the bus.

The ride was long, most of us fell asleep but not me. I had to savor every moment of this accidental adventure. Then it dawned to me that where we are going is same place as where Santi actual passed through. We passed landslides along the way, there were flood on some part of the road, we had to stop on some roads where only one lane is open, and we also passed roads covered with soil, its a good thing the local government started clearing the road so we were able to pass. I realized that Santi was no joke, we where just lucky we didn't got directly hit.

After almost two hours of travel, our bus suddenly announced that we won't be going up to Nasugbu since one of the bridges leading to Nasugbu is heavily damaged. The bus stops at Sinsian Lemery, wherever that is. My mind instantly boiled, I can still picture that drivers smile and nod when we asked him, and yet he never told us about the tragedy. We tried to talk to the driver after we had the stop but he quickly stepped out of the bus after we arrive at Sinsian. We asked the conductor instead and instructed us to walk over the damaged bridge and ride a bus on the opposite side of the bridge. At least another bus is waiting, "Not to worry". And what's more irritating is that he told us they knew about the unpassable bridge and they never bothered to tell us when we asked them before. I guess that's what business is all about, find ways to get money and explain later when complaints are raised.

So we walked across the bridge, with lots of foods on our hands. We hadn't eaten anything yet but hunger started to put music in our stomach. At the end of the bridge, we expected bus, comforting bus where we could lie on our backs and relax. But no bus were in sight, only tricycles and jeepney. Another shocking lie I guess. We asked around and found out another bridge ahead is also damaged so the bus we were suppose to take is on that side of that bridge.

So we had to take a jeepney and walk again to that damaged bridge. As we took the ride on that jeepney, we realized night had started to fall. It's getting dark and we are still on the road in a very unknown place. This must be what adventure is like, never know where you're gonna end but you know it'll be fun. Somehow, we felt nervous and eager to end that feeling of being lost.

After about 15 min, we arrived at the 2nd bridge, we had to cross that dark unpassable bridge just to get to the other side. This had been a first timer for a lot of things for me, so I felt rather excited to see how the day ends. At the other side, we finally saw a bus, and this time, they assure us, we are stopping at Nasugbu. So we took our sit, and gave ourselves a deserved reward, food. We took out what we were carrying all along and ate our food we were suppose to offer to puerto. It never crossed our minds that we would be eating all of this at the bus, talk about luck.:)

With the night starting to get darker, we were eager to finally end our journey. And about 8pm, we finally arrive at Nasugbu terminal. People there knew exactly where we want to go so we didn't have any difficulty finding a nice resort. Two tricycle took us to a Beach Resort called Johndel...

And so we took a room, we didn't care if it was that expensive, lay our bags, put in our swimming clothes and enjoyed the culmination of the hardships that we had to go through. We had fun, but what makes it more memorable is the things we had to go through just to enjoy this moment. And how we enjoyed the weekend? Our picture tells it all. :)